Mass Produced Monstrosities

These non-cookie specimens were found among otherwise innocent-seeming candies and snacks that are manufactured by large snack food corporations.

The Doughy Duo

This pretentious pair was found at, of all places, a wedding. Three large pans full of bread were provided by the caterers, and these raunchy rolls were among them. The caterers were a service from a small chain of restaurants, but it appears that the Snack Food Manufacturers used their copious amounts of cash to bribe the small-time businesspersons into doing their dirty work.

The Peppermint Abomination

These minty malcontents, though only semispherical, obviously represent a pair of testicles. It seems that the Snack Manufacturers have an obsession with male genitalia; one can only wonder why.

The Orange Oddity

The Orange Oddity was found in a bag of Rah's beloved marshmallow circus peanuts (which are best when eaten stale, in Rah's opinion). Just as she raised the sugary morsel to her mouth, she noticed the disgusting phallic shape. Her appetite was then supressed, to say the least.

The Salty Balls

Rah's stepmother was enjoying a bag of pretzel balls when she came across this disgusting delicacy and felt that it was in our country's best interests to donate it to our website. Their perfect sphericality, combined with the manner in which they are attached, could mean they represent one of many body parts associated with sexuality, just like the edible obscenity below. We believe, however, that the pretzels are testicles, because we think the snack manufacturer responsible for this specimen intended them to be so, mainly due to the double entendre of "salty balls."

The Milk Chocolate Mammaries

Within a few weeks' time, The Nookie Cookies office was hit with a barrage of corrupted candies, all made by the same company that made the Edible Obscenity, and all but one from the same brand of candy. The Delectable Derriere (see below) was among them, but out of the five we obtained, four were made to resemble breasts. As was mentioned on the main page, (see case #4 - The Phortune Phallus,) the sheer number of these anomalies we are receiving shows that the sinful sweet manufacturers have stepped up their campaign; perhaps spurred to do so by the Nookie Cookies staff's discovery of their plan. Their new efforts may become their downfall, however; the more they try to misshape our minds, the more evidence the Nookie Cookies movement will have against them. --Special thanks to Windjammer for supplying the photo to the far left.

The Delectable Derriere

This was one of the candies included in the onslaught that flowed into the Nookie Cookies Headquarters. It is obviously meant to resemble a human derriere, even mimicking the muscle tone of one. Though certainly not one of our most offensive Nookie Cookies, it is a Nookie Cookie case nonetheless, as it is too perfect of a replica to be unintentional.

Red-Hot Raunchiness

This candy was found among some gingerbread house decorations soon after the new year. As you can see, it's almost a little too hot for our standards. It really needs no description, so we'll leave it up to your imaginations to decide what it represents.

The Bubble Gum Boob

The manufacturers of this gumball clearly took advantage of its globular shape to make it resemble a breast - the deformity of this ball is too perfect; there is no doubt of its likeness to a nipple, and no doubt as to the intent of the people who produce these gumballs.

The Edible Obscenity

This offensive object is a product of a popular candy company which shall, of course, remain nameless. An unbiased online poll concluded that this candy very closely resembles a part of the male genitalia. Thus, the food manufacturers are producing foods resembling not only the act of fornication, but the body parts involved.

All Nookie Cookies images and texts are copyrighted and belong solely to the proprietors of the website. Please do not take or copy any of the website content without the permission of the owners.

Back to the Main Page