Natural Nookies

These are fruits, vegetables, etc. that we suspect were genetically engineered to represent sexual organs.

The Buttato

It has no stench - but boy, can it clench! Lah was about to eat dinner at a friend's house when, to her horror, she noticed this terrible tuber on her plate. She was, of course, far too disgusted to continue eating, so she instead took pictures of this potato posterior to add to our growing supply of evil evidence. The sad state of food retribution in this country makes it near-impossible to track the ancestry of a potato, but we can only hope that in the future steps can be taken to prevent our NSMs from cruelly breeding vicious vegetables such as this.

The Flamboyant Family

These carrots are truly a first for Nookie Cookies. The female breasts have been imitated in food before, but never has there been a representation of the female genitals - even one as primitive as this - before. A special thanks to Laura S. for submitting this photo.

The Inedible and Endowed

These two trees bear no fruits of perversion; however, they are so graphic that we felt we must include them. These two are both submissions from loyal Nookie Cookies fans - from left to right, they are from Nookieteers Justin F. and Betty B. Though they are not generally considered edible, the rampant phallic nature of these trees indicate that they might be by-products of early genetic engineering perpetrated by our nation's snack manufacturers. Perhaps, with these trees, they were testing the effects of pervertization on inedible items so as to make sure the FDA would approve of their foul food items.

The Frisky Fruits

These Frisky Fruits were found by Rah's mother in a bag of cherries intended to be a special treat for the family. And special they are; note the phallic nature of the odd growth on the cherry, and of the cherry itself. It seems that Our Nation's Snack Manufacturers have been using America's farmers, a representation of all that is good and wholesome and nourishing in our great country, as a pawn in their big game of EVIL.

The Sexual Squash

A student at the elementary school at which Rah's mother works brought this zucchini to our attention. There are many different kinds of squash that grow in all sorts of strange shapes, but zucchini tend to be cylindrical. This one, as you can see, is anything but.

The Weenut

This peanut, like the seeds of perversion below, was very nearly eaten before it was discovered, as it was coated in chocolate and a layer of candy. Rah was in the process of eating a bag of such candies when some unknown force, perhaps fate, inspired her to remove the coating from this particular candy instead of eating it entirely. Most peanuts have the beginnings of a plant within, but not on the outside - it appears as if this peanut is aroused.

The Seeds of Perversion

These abominations were found one afternoon when Rah and Lah were enjoying some grapes which purported to be seedless but were, in fact, seeded. Annoyed by the inconvenience, Rah and Lah either spat out or swallowed many of the seeds before they gave one a closer look - and realized with horror what they had unknowingly been ingesting. The thought of all the men, women and children who have eaten grapes over the years been exposed to this perversion is dire indeed. The Nookie Cookies headquarters are in California, which has a generous amount of grape crops, so the Nookie Cookies staff can only hope that this situation is isolated to their state alone, and not yet a nationwide scourge.

The Eggy Fanny

Rah and her mother were preparing a trifle for their thanksgiving when they cracked open an egg and discovered that it had a double yolk - and quite a disturbing double yolk indeed. these yolks seem almost perfectly sculpted to resemble a derriere - but we believe the sculpting was done not by Mother Nature, but by monstrous genetic engineering under the supervision and funding of our nation's snack food manufacturers.

The Golden (Delicious) Gonads

Interestingly enough, these apples were found in Rah's very own backyard. Could the nation's snack manufacturers be using their genetic engineering campaign to bring Nookie Cookies down from the inside? After some investigation, it was discovered that no one in Rah's family knew exactly where the tree came from. It is suspected that it sprouted from an errant apple core - perhaps one tossed by an operative of the snack manufacturers? Apparently, the NSMs were trying to frame Rah, making it appear that she might be responsible for this apple's existence, but, as can be expected, they underestimated the opposition.

The Exposed Eggplant

This is our first visitor submission, from "Windjammer," who says that it " was grown in my parents garden about 16 years ago. Not much to say about it." The age of the picture shows that the infiltration of our stomachs with perversion is nothing recent. This eggplant is obviously a product of deviant genetic engineering, designed to highly resemble the male sex organs in their entirety.

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