These are fruits, vegetables, etc. that we suspect were
genetically engineered to represent sexual organs.
It has no stench - but boy, can it clench! Lah was about to eat dinner at a friend's house when, to her horror, she noticed this terrible tuber on her plate. She was, of course, far too disgusted to continue eating, so she instead took pictures of this potato posterior to add to our growing supply of evil evidence. The sad state of food retribution in this country makes it near-impossible to track the ancestry of a potato, but we can only hope that in the future steps can be taken to prevent our NSMs from cruelly breeding vicious vegetables such as this.
The Flamboyant Family
These carrots are truly a first for Nookie Cookies. The female breasts have been imitated in food before, but never has there been a representation of the female genitals - even one as primitive as this - before. A special thanks to Laura S. for submitting this photo.
The Inedible and Endowed
These two trees bear no fruits of perversion; however, they are so graphic that we felt we must include them. These two are both submissions from loyal Nookie Cookies fans - from left to right, they are from Nookieteers Justin F. and Betty B. Though they are not generally considered edible, the rampant phallic nature of these trees indicate that they might be by-products of early genetic engineering perpetrated by our nation's snack manufacturers. Perhaps, with these trees, they were testing the effects of pervertization on inedible items so as to make sure the FDA would approve of their foul food items.
These Frisky Fruits were
found by Rah's mother in a bag of cherries intended to be a special treat for
the family. And special they are; note the phallic nature of the odd growth on
the cherry, and of the cherry itself. It seems that Our Nation's Snack
Manufacturers have been using America's farmers, a representation of all that is
good and wholesome and nourishing in our great country, as a pawn in their big
game of EVIL.
A student at the elementary
school at which Rah's mother works brought this zucchini to our attention. There
are many different kinds of squash that grow in all sorts of strange shapes, but
zucchini tend to be cylindrical. This one, as you can see, is anything but.
This peanut, like the seeds of
perversion below, was very nearly eaten before it was discovered, as it was
coated in chocolate and a layer of candy. Rah was in the process of eating a bag
of such candies when some unknown force, perhaps fate, inspired her to remove
the coating from this particular candy instead of eating it entirely. Most
peanuts have the beginnings of a plant within, but not on the outside - it
appears as if this peanut is aroused.
The Seeds of
These abominations were found
one afternoon when Rah and Lah were enjoying some grapes which purported to be
seedless but were, in fact, seeded. Annoyed by the inconvenience, Rah and Lah
either spat out or swallowed many of the seeds before they gave one a closer
look - and realized with horror what they had unknowingly been ingesting. The
thought of all the men, women and children who have eaten grapes over the years
been exposed to this perversion is dire indeed. The Nookie Cookies headquarters
are in California, which has a generous amount of grape crops, so the Nookie
Cookies staff can only hope that this situation is isolated to their state
alone, and not yet a nationwide scourge.
The Eggy Fanny
Rah and her mother were preparing
a trifle for their thanksgiving when they cracked open an egg and discovered
that it had a double yolk - and quite a disturbing double yolk indeed. these
yolks seem almost perfectly sculpted to resemble a derriere - but we believe the
sculpting was done not by Mother Nature, but by monstrous genetic engineering
under the supervision and funding of our nation's snack food manufacturers.
The Golden (Delicious)
Interestingly enough, these apples
were found in Rah's very own backyard. Could the nation's snack manufacturers be
using their genetic engineering campaign to bring Nookie Cookies down from the
inside? After some investigation, it was discovered that no one in Rah's family
knew exactly where the tree came from. It is suspected that it sprouted from an
errant apple core - perhaps one tossed by an operative of the snack
manufacturers? Apparently, the NSMs were trying to frame Rah, making it appear
that she might be responsible for this apple's existence, but, as can be
expected, they underestimated the opposition.
This is our first visitor
submission, from "Windjammer," who says that it " was grown in my parents garden
about 16 years ago. Not much to say about it." The age of the picture shows that
the infiltration of our stomachs with perversion is nothing recent. This
eggplant is obviously a product of deviant genetic engineering, designed to
highly resemble the male sex organs in their entirety.
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